I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
