what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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