ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
