My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
