My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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