I skipped work to stalk him.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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