I bet he comes in French.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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