I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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