whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
