I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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