I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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