I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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