i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
