Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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