If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
