Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
