he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
