We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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