Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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