in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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