i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My bed smells like the plague
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
