Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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