Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
