shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize