He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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