I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I think my vagina is haunted
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize