There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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