Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
