We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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