READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
