Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
