Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
