Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
