the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
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