i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
