she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
