You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
