Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
