No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
