Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
