Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
