Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize