She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
