Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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