Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
