somebody snuck up and got me drunk
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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