don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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