he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
