Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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