She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
