It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
