No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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