i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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