if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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