Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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