i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
