writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
