farters have to be the big spoon...
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
