I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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