is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
