hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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