You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
