I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
